What the Fork FAQ

You asked, we answered.  Consider yourselves lucky.

You do realize that “WTF” does not stand for “What the fork”, right?

Our website. Our rules. We’re getting this one out of the way right now. You can put in whatever word you want, but on this site, “WTF” always has and always will stand for “What the fork”.  If you don’t like it, you can go fork yourself.  You are done here.  And, just FYI, F always stands for fork.  Or forking. Or forkwit.  You get the idea.

Will I go to hell for doing this?

Hey, that’s between you and whatever deity you swear fealty to.  Here at Fork You, we do not meddle in the affairs of deities in regards to your eternal reward or punishment.  However, if you have a deity with zero sense of humor, you might want to buy stock in hand baskets simply for visiting our site.

So what deity do you worship?

That’s awfully personal isn’t it? But since you ask and are thick headed: Poseidon! DUH! What you mundanes call a trident we see as a giant kick-ass ninja fork.  Plus, we keep hoping he’ll make us mermaids and that would truly be way cooler than a fork hex.

Is this some kind of creepy, evil pagan-

We don’t like the direction of that question.  We don’t even care what the fork you are going to end that question with due to the use of descriptors before the word “pagan”.  There’s a great deal of awesome pagans out there.  Go out and find one and be a civilized human.

Will you be offering hexed spoons at any point?

No. This is not a site for some ridiculous child’s tantrum. We are serious about our hexes and our forks  Ok, we do offer the “WTF” option… would that satisfy you?

No. We want only spoons!

We do also offer the spork option.  If you want only spoons, you might want to go elsewhere.  Did you even look at our page before coming here?

Fine.  If I pay you enough money, do I get to fork you?

Not on your knife.  We’d spooner die. Fork off.

Ok, fine. So WTF is a Fork Hex anyway?

It started as a prank.  To get rid of some evidence, because that’s how the teenage brain thinks, we chucked a handful of forks on a friend’s doorstep.  Little did we know, there were thirteen of the infernal things.  Clearly, that makes for a hex and lo, The Fork Hex was born.

So there’s no actually hexing going on?

No. That’s actually not cool.  We don’t want true harm to befall anyone.  This is more to make your friends go, “WTF?”

So how do I remove a hex?

Did you even read the last question’s answer?  Ok, fine.  Our friend’s mother sent her Original Fork Hex through the dishwasher.  Reports of an actual success rate are unclear. Likely due to the fact there’s no actual hex. Give it a try and report back.

Someone sent me one of these fork hexes.  Will you tell me who so I can exact my revenge?

No. That information is confidential.  Once the hex is sent, all records are destroyed.  You are on your own.

Who can I hex?

Who do you want to hex?

Ok, why would I hex someone?

Why the fork not? Just imagine when that annoying BO guy in your office receives a fork hex sent to him.  That will teach him for blaring the Perry Como Station on Pandora at full blast all day!  The possibilities and reasons are endless.